I’m currently reading Augusten Burroughs’ A Wolf at the Table, which is a memoir about his father, and I know some people have had issues with the story because he starts with “memories” from when he’s a toddler, but you know what, I’m okay with that. But it’s a hard read, because all he wants is affection and love, and his mom has some problems with her mental health, and from what I can tell so far, his dad is insane and possibly dangerous. I keep telling Drew, “You have to be a loving father. You have to give him lots of attention.”
Anyway. I was reading last night, and then I turned off the light, and Drew said,
“Did that snake come to bed with you?”
I said, “What?!”
And he said, “The snake. On your shoulders.”
EXCUSE ME? Ew! And for the record, NO.
Last night I was having a dream in which Kirsten, the acclaimed cat burglar, was about to pull a Great Christmas Caper on us and rob us blind. I was awakened from this dream at 2:39am.
Drew was laughing hysterically, face down in the pillow. I asked him what was so funny.
I had to ask him several more times, because he was laughing so hard, I couldn’t understand what he was saying.
Finally he got out:
“These people…had no eyebrows…so Jeffrey drew them on.”
“The people staying at the hotel.”
And he was still laughing about it. I couldn’t help laughing too. But then I made some notes and then went back to sleep. I miss sleep talking. And sleep laughing is even better! Even if he can’t remember the joke when he wakes up.
Drew: You – you – you sleep next to a knife??
Drew: You have a knife?
Me: *laughing hysterically* I don’t have a knife!
Drew: What’d you just pull out?
Happy 30th sleep talking, y’all! Have a knife.
This is the first sleep talking post since last June!
(Honestly I think the reason why is that I don’t stay up so much later than Drew anymore…so I’m not bothering him and making him say weird things to me.)
But last night, I was finishing a book on my kindle, so this happened.
Me: I’m sorry?
Drew: Wedding…That’s the theme.
Drew: Of the wedding.
Me: Who picked that theme?
Drew: I don’t know. It’s down by the pier. That’s where the home is.
Me: Oh, okay.
Drew: Can I get anything for you?
Me: No, I’m good.
Me: …Good night?
Drew: Get a piece of wood from a tree…that’s made into a werewolf. Then…
Me: Then what?
Drew: Tear it.
Me: And that’s it?
We’ve had a couple late nights and a couple of super early mornings, so is it any wonder that we’re both a little out of it lately? But I’ve been having a hard time actually shutting down and falling asleep at night (the upstairs neighbors vacuuming from 10:15-11:30 probably didn’t help) and so I decided to read a chapter or two from my book club book to unwind. When I finished, Drew (who had fallen asleep 10 minutes prior) asked me,
“Do you like your book?”
“It’s wonderful,” I said.
“How did you like the strawberries?”
“How did you like the fruit thing?”
“How’d you like what you had for lunch today?”
“It was good. Why did you ask me that?”
“I dunno. My train of thought.”
I can only assume he was thinking (dreaming?) about Jocelyn and Kevin’s wedding shower, where we ate strawberries and fruit salad, and although it was dinner, it was like 6pm and outdoors in the sun, so I can see how he confused it for lunch.
My poor husband. We are both a little sleep deprived lately, and God knows no one handles sleep deprivation better than Drew. At this point I could probably get his deepest secrets out of him if I somehow kept him up past midnight.
Last night I was in bed, catching up on some super important tweets. Then I had to scroll through all my pictures from this weekend and marvel over how much fun I’ve had. Then finally I felt it was time to turn off the lamp. Which I did, plunging the room into darkness and apparently startling the sleeping Drew.
Drew: Can you see okay?
I: No, because it’s dark.
Drew: Didn’t you just grab a book? [pause] What did you just do?
I: I turned the light off.
Drew: Oh. Sorry. I’m [mumbled] ouwoffit.
I: You’re what? You’re out of what?
Part of me misses the days when we could spend the weekend catching up on sleep. (And part of me doesn’t miss it at all.)