Monthly Archives: May 2017

Dental Antics

B had a dentist appointment, a checkup, and even though he has a good track record at these appointments, and it’s a pediatric dentist and they’re good at this, and they have TVs on the ceiling showing movies so the kids have something to distract them, I had to take him on my own, with H, so I was worried that it could be a disaster.

There was a bit of a scuffle in the (boring, adult) lobby, where they were crawling under a table and just making too much noise (I thought), and when I snagged him to stand him up, he yelped laughter and it was just too much and we had a whispered argument about decorous dental behavior.

But once we got into the pediatric section, it was great. H settled right down to watch Frozen on the TV in the waiting area, hugging a 2-foot-tall Elmo, and B went over to the chair with the hygienist. She had me stay in the waiting area.

First of all, the chair was upright, but when he climbed into it (while the hygienist’s back was turned) he lay down in the bottom part, so his head was where his butt should go. She turned back and laughed, and was like, “No, here, sit up and I’ll put the chair back.”

Then I was listening to them make small talk. His small talk is getting pretty nuanced. This is what I caught:

Her: How old are you?
Him: *folds thumb down* I’m four.
Her: Oh wow!
Him: I’m turning five this year.
Her: Do you go to school?
Him: Yeah. It’s in San Bruno.
Her: Which school is it?

Then he told her. (I’ll leave that detail out.)

A little later, he told her he has a toothbrush with minions on it.

Then the final one:

Him: I have Star Wars shoes.
Her: Oh, cool! My husband and my son love Star Wars.
Him: Oh, where is your husband?

That cracked me up. She came over and told me his teeth looked good, we should probably just keep helping him brush (we help A LOT), and that he doesn’t have a lot gaps so we should floss him “as much as possible.” Then the dentist came and checked him out, and then he came over and told me everything looks good.

He put up B’s x-rays from his last appointment in October, and said, “Do you have any questions?” And I was like, “Okay, not about this, but so…when do adult teeth form in your face? Like how early?” Drew and I have been debating this, because there’s this picture on the internet of a skull of a child, and it has the baby teeth in the mouth and the adult teeth in the skull above them, and it’s so creepy.

So the dentist said that the adult teeth start forming between ages 1-2, so that means H probably has some adult teeth growing in her face already too, EWWWW. Anyway, below are B’s x-rays, and you can see some of the adult teeth there. Gross.

Anyway, the appointment went well, except we did have another scuffle when I made H put Elmo back down, and she cried “Elmo! Elllllmoooo!” on the way out, and the women at the front desk laughed and said she was cute, which she is, except when she’s not. But I’m grateful for the two of them holding it together (mostly) and me holding it together (!) and no cavities and we got out of there unscathed.

It did take us about 10 minutes to get from the office on the second floor, downstairs to the front door, because H insisted on going down the stairs herself, but she has to go down on her butt, very slowly, and then they had to stop to talk to these other kids who we had seen upstairs in the office…and then right when we got to the door B realized he lost the head off of a little plastic Olaf figure he had had, and he wanted to go back, but I couldn’t face that, so I just made us leave. Ah well. Sorry Olaf’s head. You live at the dentist now.

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Unfriending in 2017

I remember, not so long ago, when political disagreements could easily come to a “let’s agree to disagree” conclusion. You could stay friends with someone with different beliefs than you, because it’s all just a spectrum anyway, and just because one person leans more right and one leans more left, that doesn’t mean you can’t be cool.

I feel like that has changed, though. Is it because the arguments are less abstract? Probably they were never abstract, so is the answer that more of us are less naive? Is the left leaning further left and the right leaning further right?

When someone disagrees with me on women’s rights or LGBTQ rights or immigrant rights or children’s rights or health care…I don’t feel like I can be like, Eh, that’s fine, we can just not talk about it anymore. Because it’s become abundantly clear that people are being harmed by far-right approaches to these issues. So if someone tells me that they believe in suppressing these rights, that immigrants should all go home and women’s access to health care should be restricted and everyone should have free and open access to guns, then I have one of two thoughts: either I need to speak up and try to make you see my side…but probably that’s never going to happen, in which case I don’t really see where to go from here but to part ways.

So I’ve become more liberal (ha!) with the unfollow and unfriend buttons on Facebook, even if, as I do it, I’m solidifying the echo chamber I live in 90% of the time. There’s a right and a wrong side to history, and while it’d be great if as many people as possible could be on the right side, I’m not going to waste more time than necessary on that second group.

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Dad(dy long legs) jokes

I was brushing my teeth tonight when I looked up into the corner of the bathroom, where there has been a daddy long legs spider residing for the last couple weeks. He was still there, hanging out, in a compact but comfortable web that somehow clings to the smooth, damp, post-shower walls.

I am not a fan of spiders. I am really not a fan of spiders. I have had some run-ins with spiders that have resulted in lines of raid sprayed liberally across walls, rolls of toilet paper crumpled into baseball-sized masses, and once, memorably, a large decorative glass bowl filled with Jim Beam, into which I expected a spider to drop from the ceiling and drown – but what I hadn’t expected, what I hadn’t thought about, was the fact that even as I stood on a chair and held this really oversized bowl an inch away from the ceiling, I would see through the glass as the spider fell from the ceiling into the Jim Beam, and I would jerk away in fear, and splash Jim Beam all over the kitchen floor.

That was in college, before I had a guaranteed spider-killer around.

(Just now, I thought about saying spider-catcher, to pretend like around here, we trap them and safely let them outside, but the truth is, I’ll put crickets and ladybugs and moths and butterflies outside…but sorry spiders.)

Anyway. Daddy long legs spiders have always been different. They were around a lot growing up, they don’t seem to move as quickly or scarily as other brands of spiders, and they mostly live up in the corners and eat bugs. Or so I’m told. (Probably by paid daddy long legs PR reps.) So the daddy long legs in the bathroom can stay, as far as I’m concerned. At this point, it’s kind of nice to know it’s THERE, so I know it’s not SOMEWHERE ELSE.

So tonight I glanced at it and was like, Hi again, and then I thought, What is it living on? The bathroom can’t be the best place to set up a web. There aren’t any flies or gnats or anything in here.

And then clear as a bell I heard my dad’s voice in my head: I guess that means –
Me: Dad no
Dad: – he’s doing his job!

Dad jokes are not just for dads anymore.

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